Accept what is, deal with it if you need to and move on.
When we are attacked in class we don’t waste our time thinking about why or what if. We accept the attack just as it is and direct the energy and flesh in a way that protect both the attacker and the person who is attacked.
By staying calm and moving in the flow we create more flow. This transcends the attack into a neutral force that feels good for both of the components of the conflict.
The person who is attacked moves as soon as they have energy to work with. That knowledge comes from paying close attention to all that is happening. When we first start training this seems overwhelming. It feels impossible. Yet we already know how to do it. When we were children we ran before we were tagged and we moved in conjunction with others in sports and dance. As adults we have to unlearn the things that we think are effective.
We move and the movement itself, along with the aggression offered by the attacker provide us with the resolution. It arises naturally out of the circumstance. All answers come in the conflict, not before, not later in judgment. Everything is in the now. We do the best we can with the matters at hand.
As we learn new ways to move, we incorporate them into our old habits. Little by slowly we develop more awareness, more mindfulness, and more acceptance of what is. The now is never more than we can handle if we stay in it.
There is the real challenge. How quick we are to judge, to whine, and to remember what should be. All a waste of time. We just accept, deal with it or not and move on. In training we are offered controlled circumstances to provide us with stimuli to experience ourselves. We get to see how we respond to stress, to our own judgment, to how another person physically moves.
We can spot these responses and stay with them. We can accept the other human in the exercise. We can be respectful and we can lead and follow the movement and the moment. All becomes clear. If we feel stymied, we feel it and look again for direction in the circumstance. The answers are provided in the patience, the acceptance and the compassion.
The self-knowledge comes from the frustration that arises and is released. The self-acceptance comes from knowing we did our best. The self-love develops as our compassion for the other person comes back to us as we treat them with respect and courtesy while taking care of us both.